NEXT WEEK SUNDAY.--All the week I tagged around after him and tried to get acquainted.
I had to do the talking, because he was shy, but I didn't mind it.
He seemed pleased to have me around, and I used the sociable "we" a good deal, because it seemed to flatter him to be included.WEDNESDAY.
--We are getting along very well indeed, now, and getting better and better acquainted.
He does not try to avoid me any more, which is a good sign, and shows that he likes to have me with him.
That pleases me, and I study to be useful to him in every way I can, so as to increase his regard.
During the last day or two I have taken all the work of naming things off his hands, and this has been a great relief to him, for he has no gift in that line, and is evidently very grateful.
He can't think of a rational name to save him, but I do not let him see that I am aware of his defect.
Whenever a new creature comes along I name it before he has time to expose himself by an awkward silence.
In this way I have saved him many embarrassments.
I have no defect like this. The minute I set eyes on an animal I know what it is.
I don't have to reflect a moment; the right name comes out instantly, just as if it were an inspiration, as no doubt it is, for I am sure it wasn't in me half a minute before.
I seem to know just by the shape of the creature and the way it acts what animal it is.
When the dodo came along he thought it was a wildcat--I saw it in his eye.
But I saved him. And I was careful not to do it in a way that could hurt his pride.
I just spoke up in a quite natural way of pleasing surprise, and not as if I was dreaming of conveying information, and said, "Well, I do declare, if there isn't the dodo!"
I explained--without seeming to be explaining --how I know it for a dodo, and although I thought maybe he was a little piqued that I knew the creature when he didn't, it was quite evident that he admired me.
That was very agreeable, and I thought of it more than once with gratification before I slept. How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it!
THURSDAY.--my first sorrow. Yesterday he avoided me and seemed to wish I would not talk to him.
I could not believe it, and thought there was some mistake, for I loved to be with him, and loved to hear him talk, and so how could it be that he could feel unkind toward me when I had not done anything?
But at last it seemed true, so I went away and sat lonely in the place where I first saw him the morning that we were made and I did not know what he was and was indifferent about him; but now it was a mournful place, and every little thing spoke of him, and my heart was very sore.
I did not know why very clearly, for it was a new feeling; I had not experienced it before, and it was all a mystery, and I could not make it out.
But when night came I could not bear the lonesomeness, and went to the new shelter which he has built, to ask him what I had done that was wrong and how I could mend it and get back his kindness again; but he put me out in the rain, and it was my first sorrow.SUNDAY.
--It is pleasant again, now, and I am happy; but those were heavy days; I do not think of them when I can help it.
I tried to get him some of those apples, but I cannot learn to throw straight.
I failed, but I think the good intention pleased him.
They are forbidden, and he says I shall
come to harm; but so I come to harm through pleasing him, why shall I care for that harm?
MONDAY.--This morning I told him my name, hoping it would interest him.
But he did not care for it. It is strange. If he should tell me his name, I would care.
I think it would be pleasanter in my ears than any other sound.
He talks very little. Perhaps it is because he is not bright, and is sensitive about it and wishes to conceal it.
It is such a pity that he should feel so, for brightness is nothing; it is in the heart that the values lie.
I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches, and riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
Although he talks so little, he has quite a considerable vocabulary.
This morning he used a surprisingly good word. He evidently recognized, himself, that it was a good one, for he worked in in twice afterward, casually.
It was good casual art, still it showed that he possesses a certain quality of perception.
Without a doubt that seed can be made to grow, if cultivated.
Where did he get that word? I do not think I have ever used it.
No, he took no interest in my name. I tried to hide my disappointment, but I suppose I did not succeed.
I went away and sat on the moss-bank with my feet in the water. It is where I go when I hunger for companionship, some one to look at, some one to talk to.
It is not enough--that lovely white body painted there in the pool --but it is something, and something is better than utter loneliness.
It talks when I talk; it is sad when I am sad; it comforts me with its sympathy; it says, "Do not be downhearted, you poor friendless girl; I will be your friend."
It IS a good friend to me, and my only one; it is my sister.
That first time that she forsook me! ah, I shall never forget that --never, never. My heart was lead in my body!
I said, "She was all I had, and now she is gone!" In my despair I said, "Break, my heart; I cannot bear my life any more!" and hid my face in my hands, and there was no solace for me.
And when I took them away, after a little, there she was again, white and shining and beautiful, and I sprang into her arms!
That was perfect happiness; I had known happiness before, but it was not like this, which was ecstasy.
I never doubted her afterward. Sometimes she stayed away--maybe an hour, maybe almost the whole day, but I waited and did not doubt; I said,
"She is busy, or she is gone on a journey, but she will come." And it was so: she always did. At night she would not come if it was dark, for she was a timid little thing; but if there was a moon she would come.
I am not afraid of the dark, but she is younger than I am; she was born after I was.
Many and many are the visits I have paid her; she is my comfort and my refuge when my life is hard--and it is mainly that.Eve's Diary 1
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