Lazy Lars, Who Won the Princess

Lazy Lars, Who Won the Princess

Denmark

Once upon a time there was a very poor couple who lived not far from the king's castle. They had but one son, and he was not very promising, for he was so terribly lazy that the grass had plenty of time to grow beneath his feet. If you asked him to have a seat, you would be sure to find him later in the same spot. His name was Lars, and no one called him anything but Lazy Lars.

His parents worked every day up at the castle. His mother helped out in the kitchen and the father in the garden. Lars stayed at home the whole day doing nothing but turning into a complete lazybones.

One day at noon his mother came home to fix something to eat for herself and the boy. She was about to hang the pot over the fire, but there was no water in the house. They didn't have a well, so they had to fetch their water from a spring on the other side of the castle.

The mother said, "Listen, Lazy Lars, run and fetch a little water from the spring, or there will be nothing for you to eat."

"I'm going," said Lars, but he did not move from where he was sitting. She said it once again, and he gave her the same answer, but he did not move at all. Then the mother became angry and reached for the poker to teach Lazy Lars a lesson with it, so he had to get up after all.

He took an old broad-brimmed hat and an old iron kettle whose feet had been knocked off and went on his way. But it was a slow trip, because the day was very hot and every few moments he turned the kettle upside down and sat on it for a while.

As he was passing the castle it happened that the king's daughter, a young and spirited princess, was sitting at a window, and when she saw Lazy Lars, whom she knew well, and observed the trip he was making with the kettle, she broke out laughing and called down to him, "Where are you going, Lazy Lars?"

"To the spring to fetch water," he shouted.

"Hurry up, Lazy Lars, or else your kettle without legs will run away from you!" she called back.

Lars answered that there was no danger of that.

"You are going to need a boy to help you carry your kettle, Lazy Lars," she shouted haughtily.

It made Lars angry that she was thus making fun of him, and he looked up toward the window. He had never before seen such a beautiful girl, and he was so taken back that he just stood there with his mouth open staring at her. She laughed at him even more and shouted, "Close your mouth, Lazy Lars, or your heart will get cold!"

Then Lars picked up his feet and did not stop again to rest until he came to the spring.

There he took a string, tied it to the handle of the kettle, and lowered it into the spring. The kettle filled with water, but when he pulled it back up there was a frog in it, and the frog could talk. Lars had never seen anything like this before. He set the kettle on the ground and looked in amazement at the frog, who asked him very politely if he could not be put back into the spring. But Lazy Lars said that that would not be possible, for it would be double the effort. The frog again asked politely, promising Lars that he could have one wish granted, if he would but put him back into the water.

Lars thought that that would not be bad. He took his old broad-brimmed hat and threw it onto the ground, then said that he wanted to have as many wishes granted as there were blades of grass covered by the hat, for he thought it would be all the same to the frog if he was going to the trouble to grant a wish.

So the frog was able to return to the spring and was happy about that.

Lars sat down next to his kettle, which he had filled up again, in order to take his time and think about what he should fish for. Of course, he thought that the first thing he should wish for would be that his kettle should get some legs and be able to walk, so he would not have to carry it. Then the princess would not be able to laugh at his kettle, saying that it had no feet, and she would not be able to make fun of him by saying that he needed a boy to carry the kettle.

He had scarcely uttered this wish, when the kettle had feet and looked like it wanted to run away. However, Lars took his time, for he wanted to think of another wish, but one did not come to him, so he and the kettle trotted off. He held tightly onto the string that he had tied to the kettle, so that it was half pulling him along behind. Because his large broad-brimmed hat grew too heavy and warm for him, he hung it on the kettle like a lid, and thus, like a proper kettle, it had both feet and a lid.

When he arrived at the castle window the young princess was still there, and when she saw the procession coming by with the kettle and the hat and Lazy Lars, she had to laugh, and she laughed so terribly hard that it almost made her sick.

"Now your kettle is walking by itself, Lazy Lars, and you don't have to carry your hat either!" she shouted. "All you need now is a boy to push from behind!"

"You yourself should have a boy," replied Lars, without thinking what he was saying, for he was tired of being teased.

Then the princess closed the window, for she no longer wanted to talk with Lazy Lars.

Lars arrived home safely with the kettle and got his noon meal. He did not give any thought to further wishes, for could not think of anything that he needed, so everything stayed as it was.

Time passed as always, but nearly a year later something strange was happening at the castle, for the princess had gotten very ill. The doctors were called in. They shook their heads and wrote prescriptions, each one longer than the others, but nothing helped even a little bit. Then the princess's mother had a private talk with her. They spoke for a long time, and the princess cried and insisted that she was innocent, but the queen did not believe her.

More time passed, and then there were no longer any doubts, for, as they say, a little barefoot boy came to the princes. The just old king nearly jumped out of his skin that such a scandal should come upon his house, and it did not make matters any better that the princess would not say anything about who the little prince's father was.

For good or for evil, more time passed, and the fatherless prince was three years old when the king said that he could no longer endure the scandal. He would find out who the child's father was, and the princess would have to marry whoever it turned out to be.

The king proclaimed across the whole realm that all men in the land, large and small, were to come together before the castle on a certain day. There they would hear the voice of the innocent child, who himself would determine who his father was.

The day arrived, and a large mass of people, fine and course, came together. Around the castle it was black with people.

On this day Lazy Lars's mother came home a little earlier than normal to prepare the noon meal, and as usual she found Lars sitting in the doorway enjoying the sunshine.

"I do say," she called out, "does my Lazy Lars have nothing better to do on such a day than to sit here doing nothing?"

Lars stretched and asked why she had said that, so she told him what was going on up at the castle. Lars thought that he was just as good as anyone else, so he meandered up there himself.

When the king saw Lazy Lars approaching the castle he thought that they could surely begin now, because certainly Lars would be the last one to arrive, even though he lived closest.

They put a golden apple in the little prince's hand, and the one to whom he would give the apple, he would be the father.

The child walked slowly back and forth with the golden apple among the many people, as though he did not know what he should do with it. Finally he caught sight of Lars, who was standing at the very back of the crowd with his hands in his pockets. He walked toward Lars and reached the apple to him.

Lars, in no hurry, slowly removed his hand from his pocket and took the apple. But then there came a huge uproar, so angry were the people -- large and small, poor and rich -- at Lars's good fortune. "Yes," they said, "those who can neither read nor write have all the luck."

Lars was nearly trampled by the envious mob, but he held the apple tightly and finally made his way to the king, the queen, and all the ministers.

When the king saw that it was Lazy Lars who had received the apple, he discovered that this final embarrassment was even worse than the first one. He took the princess, pushed her toward him, and said that he never wanted to see anything of them in his house again. If it had been a handsome gentleman then everything would have been all right, but Lazy Lars --!

The king ordered his people to put Lars and the princess and the child into a boat on the sea east of the castle. They could set their own course and travel to whatever country they might choose.

The king's order was carried out, and Lars and the princess were set adrift on the wild sea. They did not know which direction they were going. Evening came, and the princess cried pitifully. Lars, however, was lying on the bottom of the boat thinking only of himself, for this was the first time he had ever had water beneath him, and he was not up to a voyage at sea.

"What should we do?" cried the princess. "Tell me, Lars, what should we do?"

"Yes, what should be do?" answered Lars. "I don't know what we should do."

And so they sailed on.

After a while the princess said, "Say something, you Lazy Lars. You just lie there without saying a word."

"What should I say then?" mumbled Lars. "The only thing I can say is that I wish we would soon be on land!"

He had scarcely uttered this wish when there was suddenly before them, a beautiful island with woods and houses and people and cattle.

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